Eurovision

Eurovision is pretty much the greatest event of the year.

The feast that mum prepared was off the chain. Some food from various countries, including paella and Portugese chicken. So good. And the cousins, Harry and Al gathering around the TV all watching, singing along and making massively inappropriate comments throughout is great fun. Standing ovation from Al and I to my future wife Lena Meyer-Landrut (Al, you got no chance and I will marry her) and an all-round applause for Giorgos Alkaios and Friends. OPA was a pretty sweet jam. Honestly, I thought that Iceland's song, no matter how fat the singer was, had a solid chance at winning. "Je Ne Sai Quoi" had the euro-rave beats, outrageous singing, a key change and amazing lighting. But hey, turns out Europe loves Lena nearly as much as I do. She was even in my dream - and it wasn't even sexual!

We went down to Opera Bar (because for some reason I was fucking loaded) and while we were having some steak, Lena and her friend were walking past (because she came to Australia because she's cool like that). And so I ran over and like talked to her and invited her to join us for dinner (dream, remember this, a dream) and we were all hanging and taking photos and then we went to the Argyle and danced to "Tits & Acid" by Simian Mobile Disco and then went to Cargo Bar (yes, I woke up and though, "Oh god...Cargo..?") and met up with everyone else. Then we got out mega party on and then as everyone was leaving I was all like: "Lena, where are you staying?" and so we all went back to her hotel room, which was the penthouse of the Shangri-La (pretty believable). And we drank expensive alcohol (and when I say I was loaded, I mean wads of cash and money clips) and went to sleep as the sun rose. I am a cool guy with a vivid imagination which is totally realistic. Shut up.

Also, Boris was pretty fucking amazing.

Mos Def - Supermagic

Elven Marriage

Last night I had a dream that started on a massive bummer but then became a mindfuck that I hope I never forget.

It began with Me, Pills, Al and Harry all driving home from a party some night listening to "Party Line" by The Kinks and we weren't drunk or anything, just bopping along. Then some guy out of nowhere hit the right side of the car and we craaaaaaaaaaaashed into a ditch (ditch) and, unfortunately, Pills and I...how do I put it nicely...died.

[Okay, so I am aware that having a subconscious mental though about myself and one of my closest friends dieing is probs not a very good thing, but regardless, it occurred.]

Following this was our combined funeral. We're not related, but we had some huuuge joint funeral which we had our funeral songs playing:
Pills: Led Zeppelin - The Rain Song
Me: The Beatles - Helter Skelter
[I have discussed this with him, he wants that song played. "You know when you hear that song that you'll take with you forever? Yeah, The Rain Song."]
And so it was pretty much just like some movie scene that had slow panning and all that predictable stuff you know and love.

So then we ascended into heaven.
[Now, I'm not religious, but I have recently been in some heated discussions involving religion, so this may play a part in all of this subconscious behavior]
And as we walked through the pearly gates in our white dream outfit (Gangsta freshness sneakers for Pills and a great rock'n'roll outfit for I) I could hear "America - Before The War" playing very loudly ["Different Trains" has greatly affected me] while all the angels and dead people were commuting (yes, you commute in heaven).

Then I met John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, Keith Moon and John Entwistle and that was very cool. Then I played pool with John Bonham and John Paul Jones and that was all well and dandy while everyone was grieving and shit. And then there were what can be likened to air-raid sirens [One again, "Different Trains" "Europe - During The War"].

These sirens signified the beginning of a supernatural war that had been going on for centuries. It was between the vampires and warewolves, and the angels and souls and whatnot of heaven were allied with the vampires, performing reconnesance missions.
[This is the gnarly mindfuck part]

So then Pills and I were sent into battle against the warewolves and there was some Lord of the Rings scale epic-ness in the war. It was so awesome. At that point, I believe I finally fell asleep.

Let's hope I have another great dream tonight!

Led Zeppelin - The Rain Song
The Beatles - Helter Skelter

P.S. Top artwork is "Warewolf vs. Vampire" by ~nightmarelove, published on deviantart.com
There's probs some copyright details, but whatevs.