Eurovision is pretty much the greatest event of the year.
The feast that mum prepared was off the chain. Some food from various countries, including paella and Portugese chicken. So good. And the cousins, Harry and Al gathering around the TV all watching, singing along and making massively inappropriate comments throughout is great fun. Standing ovation from Al and I to my future wife Lena Meyer-Landrut (Al, you got no chance and I will marry her) and an all-round applause for Giorgos Alkaios and Friends. OPA was a pretty sweet jam. Honestly, I thought that Iceland's song, no matter how fat the singer was, had a solid chance at winning. "Je Ne Sai Quoi" had the euro-rave beats, outrageous singing, a key change and amazing lighting. But hey, turns out Europe loves Lena nearly as much as I do. She was even in my dream - and it wasn't even sexual!
We went down to Opera Bar (because for some reason I was fucking loaded) and while we were having some steak, Lena and her friend were walking past (because she came to Australia because she's cool like that). And so I ran over and like talked to her and invited her to join us for dinner (dream, remember this, a dream) and we were all hanging and taking photos and then we went to the Argyle and danced to "Tits & Acid" by Simian Mobile Disco and then went to Cargo Bar (yes, I woke up and though, "Oh god...Cargo..?") and met up with everyone else. Then we got out mega party on and then as everyone was leaving I was all like: "Lena, where are you staying?" and so we all went back to her hotel room, which was the penthouse of the Shangri-La (pretty believable). And we drank expensive alcohol (and when I say I was loaded, I mean wads of cash and money clips) and went to sleep as the sun rose. I am a cool guy with a vivid imagination which is totally realistic. Shut up.
So it's pretty much the end of the semester and you know, subjects are all wrapping up. Art History exam on Monday, Japanese speaking next Friday and then an exam on the 19th of June (Boo, Saturday exam) and final assignments for Academic Writing and Music are due. So there we have it, my first semester of university coming to a close. I guess I should reflect on what I've learnt:
Some basic stuff in Japanese, much less than I should know.
Art is cool, man.
How to actually research an essay and kinda how to reference.
How to drink a beer.
Looks like I'm a stellar uni student.
What I'm really looking forward to is holidays. I won't really have to care because I now have expectations of uni and won't be fretting. Pretty amped to just hit the town on random days of the week, go to some bad clubs (hellooooo Eastern!), some great pubs (hellooooo James Squire Brewery) and generally just lounge around. Sit in my room on a Sunday afternoon reading some books, listening to tunes and watching some killer flicks. Maybe shove some Final Fantasy in there somewhere because video games are cool. Get some people over, have a Street Fighter IV sesh, maybe? I might even go for a daily bike ride or something! Imagine that, me doing "exercise" often. Insane! What I would really love is a Pills Party™ and get absolutely lashed and stay up until sunrise because that's fun and aPills Party™ is literally the greatest party ever. And a jam session. We desperately need a jam session. My talent (non-existant) is just going to waste! I cannot write a song...some rocker I'll grow up to be.
Paragrah three is often a summary, synthesising above points into some profound comment about the world and the existence of life. But I ain't done, no sir, I've got plenty more on my mind. Like why are women so crazy? Women, why are you so crazy? Do you strive to make a man's life a living hell? Japan has it made with men still being the dominant motherfucker in society, and waitresses in maid cafes referring to the customers as "Master." That's right. That's how it should be. And women are so unreadable and give mixed messages. Unless they're drunk. Or maybe I'm just terribad at reading people. That's probably it. FUCKING WOMEN!
I got my big essay back today. 80/100. Here's the comment, it's the funniest shit ever:
"Con - your terrible introduction cleverly lowered my expectations, so that the rest of this thoughtful, observant, well-researched essay came as a complete surprise. Your analysis was alert, you interpretation was simultaneously ingenious and sensitive, and you clearly absorbed and assimilated the books that you cited. This is commendable work."
There's nothing I love more than being a music nerd. I used to not be a fan on B-Sides and remixes and stuff, but that's because I didn't really listen to good music. Now that I have taste, I will gladly listen to 4 hours and 19 minutes of Jimi Hendrix rarities, live recordings, alternate mixes and general awesomeness, like the Experience playing "Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band." That shit fucking rules. This is a really good box set. I should probably buy it one day when I'm rich. It'll happen. I'll go on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and rob Eddie Fucking McGuire of some sweet dosh. Because I need it more than Channel 9 does. I easy deserve one million dollars. I've probably spent more than one million dollars in the past three years on CDs, food and alcohol. But now no-one wants to employ me. Maybe because I'm too rad. That's gotta be it.
IT'S JIMI AT WOODSTOCK, YOU IDIOT!
Remember like last month or something when I said Everything's Comin' Up Milhouse?
I take it back. I guess everything has gone progressively downhill as this semester has continued. I have fears of failing Japanese, so I might actually not do it next semester anymore because it's so outrageously hard, and I am incapable of finding employment and shit and shitty shit. Whiney whine whine. Fuck. Imma shut up and listen to more Hendrix because he's the best. Go on, go listen to your Lady GaGa, you pigs. Oh yeah, she's totally hip and new. Her music is not generic in the slightest (SARCASM!!!). The only thing vaguely interesting about her is her image, and even then she's so fucking retarded that the dirty whore should have never made it out of the uterus alive. Actually, I'm sure she never fully developed, with presentable evidence being that ugly mug of hers. Eww eww ewwwwww.
But you might say; Haters gonna hate. Well I am going to refute with; PEOPLE ARE FUCKING RETARDED AND THE WORLD HAS NO TASTE! And as God 2.0 aka: John Cusack showed us in his filthy tripe 2012, the world will die soon, and Danny Glover will stay on Manhattan Island and die with the rest of the slum that inhabits this trash we live in and Oliver Platt will do something...I can't remember what he did in that film because I'm pretty sure I fell asleep because it was rubbish. But seriously, the few good things left in this world are music, films, art and "Chocolate Rain" because that guy honestly is the voice of god. Not Alan Rickman (although he is totally fucking gnarly).
Uni is getting shitty. So much work. So behind for Japanese. Got ridiculous amounts of study for that. Fucking too much grammar and stuff to learn. And Kanji and oh god.
Also, Academic Writing essay is due on Thursday and I haven't actually started. It's worth 40%. Fuck. Oh well, just gotta pass it. Just need 50%. That can't be too hard, right...right...? And I've already written the outline and have all my references, I just have to fit it into a cohesive, argumentative essay. Simple. Not looking forward to pulling a big night on Wednesday. Might just polish it off Thursday and hand it in on Friday. Few marks deducted and I get significantly more time. But it is due 5pm on Thursday, so I've got all day really, as I think I'll be skipping lectures again. Pretty pointless. Fuck Academic Writing. Fuck that shit baaaaad.
Sol LeWitt mural in Australia Square.
Art History rules the hardest. It exposes me to the best shit. Except this week. It was feminist art. So much vagina and menstruation and gross stuff like that. No more. And I fucking need a job. Yes, I still do not have one. It's quite hard, I tells ya!